DEALING WITH CONFLICT
Conflict can occur in any situation and is a part of life. Being knowledgeable on dealing with conflict can ensure that your friendships and relationships with people remain on track.
We all perceive the world in divergent ways – leading to a difference in opinion about the exact same thing. Conflict can instigate people to feel angry and upset or excited and energised. The mental and physical impact that conflict has from person to person is also different. It doesn’t always fade away and fix itself, sometimes it needs to be worked through and solved.
What leads to conflict?:
- Ideas, opinions or concerns not being understood
- You or others feel as those you are not being treated justly
- Bar of expectations are not being met
- A difference in communication and personality types
- Differences in strongly held values, beliefs and opinions
Dealing with conflict:
- TALK IT OUT! Talking out conflict with the people involved is the best way to ensure that you are all working towards reaching a collective understanding and a resolution
- Stay calm, try not to be judgmental, promote a blame game or get angry and defensive
- Use “I” sentences and be specific
- For example:
- I was disappointed when …
- I felt upset when you …
- Talk about the solutions and what you would like to happen as an outcome of the conflict resolution
- Pick a location (preferably private) and a time that is inclusive of everyone involved so everyone is able to have a say
- Attempt to understand and accept your own thoughts and feelings about what has happened
- Give yourself time and space to calm down if you are feeling angry or frustrated
- Use mindfulness and take slow breaths if the conflict has arisen instantaneously and you’re attempting to calm yourself down
- Represent you’re actively listening through eye contact, nodding and utilising open body language
Dealing with conflict is worth it:
- Unresolved conflict can become worse and lead to resentment and discontent
How experiencing conflict will keep friendships and relationships on track now and into the future:
- Increase confidence to deal with problematic situations
- Regain a sense of happiness and achievement
- Develop skills for conflict resolution that are efficient and effective in light of communication
- Become more sensitive to others wants, needs and perspectives
- Able to put yourself in another person’s shoes
Although conflict is a part of life, it can still have a taxing impact on us. It isn’t always easy to deal with a situation that involves conflict,
you can always access resources such as:
- Headspace
- Reach out
- It’s Okay To Not Be Okay – Youth Mental Health – batyr.com.au
- Beyond Blue
- Kids Helpline
You can always access student welfare services here at Tintern as well:
- Catie McNamara
- Kylie Cummins
- Andrew Dallafiore
- Jessica Soccio
Written by
Andrew Dallafiore and Jessica Soccio
Student Welfare Services
Reference:
https://kidshelpline.com.au/young-adults/issues/ways-deal-conflict.
